I’d like to start this memorial post with a statement.
If you love someone right now who’s with you currently, be sure to soak up the knowledge they have about how they live and cherish that information. Often ask them how they think about you and how much you admire them. Always prepare for the day you both are split from each other eternally.
On this exact date 7 years ago, I lost my sister to epilepsy. Whenever I do my yearly assessment to see if I’m mentally able to process her death I find that I’m much better than I used to be, but that void is forever felt.
Then I think more about what she’d want me to be and then I get back up and roam some more.
My sister was a go-getter. She fought for everything she ever earned and wanted nothing but the best and I aspired to do just that AFTER she passed. When she was here, I was a knucklehead. I didn’t know what I wanted to do and would just be complacent wherever I was. I worked dead-end jobs, never ventured into my hobbies or even college and would stay in a relationship that did nothing but slowly kill me overtime. She saw me living like this and would often place herself in my situations to tell me how to do better, but always celebrated the small victories I had because she knew they could lead to better.
I’ve since gotten better in these last 7 years.
I went back to college, left the 5 year toxic relationship, FOUND a much more nurturing one and got married, adopted a child, had another child and found myself in the same job field she told me to check into the same year she passed. (Needless to say, I’m also attempting to LEAVE said job field, but that’s another story)
If it wasn’t for my sister I wouldn’t have: found myself playing so many JRPG games, be a strong advocate for black women, understood the politics that operate my everyday life, become such a elite level foodie, write the level of fiction I write today, actually give a damn about myself.
So, be sure to find that person who inspired me like my sister and tell them you put them on such a pedestal. I got real lucky, I got to tell her I loved her the day before she passed away (and to tell her I had the most delicious Mr. Dan’s burger I’ve ever had and that I’d get her one the following weekend.)
As always, thanks again Amber. I’ll have more to say during next year’s reflection!